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hier kommen ein paar zitate oder was sonst noch so auftaucht. mal sehen.


[...]Er fühlte sich wie auf der Flucht vor einem tiefen, schwarzen Abgrund, der mit jedem Schritt den er tat, näher kam. Früher oder später würde der Abgrund ihn einholen und verschlucken, bis es kein Zurück mehr gab. Das Blut, die Wunden, vor allem der Schmerz brachten ihm einen Vorsprung, und dieser Vorsprung wurde immer größer oder kleiner, je nach dem welchen Weg er durch das Gehölz, das ihm den Weg zu versperren versuchte, wählte. Und irgendwo hinter all dem Gestrüpp stand Jacen, streckte die Hand nach ihm aus, sprach ihm stumm Mut zu, doch so sehr Ben sich auch bemühte, er konnte ihn nicht erreichen und je schneller er rannte, desto schneller kam der Abgrund näher. [...]

Auszug aus "Stumme Schreie" Kapitel 17

(fanfiktion.de - SW-FF)




Das Glück ist nur ein Traum,
und der Schm*rz ist wirklich.



There's a chair in my head on which
I used to sit
Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it
Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be
Dig it up, throw it at me
Dig it up, throw it at me

Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind

Got a knife to disengage the voids that I can't bear
To cut out words I've got written on my chair

K's Choice: Virgin State Of Mind





Someone tell me why
I do the things
That I don't want to do?

When you're around me
I'm somebody else

Someone tell me why
I act like a fool
When things don't go my way
And you're around me?
I'm somebody else
There is good reason I guess
Having it once gone to far

Guided By Voices: Teenage FBI




I can't open myself up to anyone I can't believe in anyone at all
and I can't see anything the light that shines is disappearing, soon it will be gone
unable to open myself up this is my weakness, my past
I can get what I want, yet if I do, the kindness I'm holding onto will slip away
the typical answer is when you die, you'll be reborn, come back again

my heart is shuttered, soon it will break apart
stifling my tears, I laugh day after day
my heart has shown me that believing is nothing
those hypocrites killed me

my heart is shuttered, soon it will crumble away
stifling my tears, I scream day after day
my heart has left me with a belief in strength
my own heart killed me

"Mushi" by Dir en grey




The last question that is asked of him is “what are you trying to communicate with your bodily harm”?
He says it’s how he challenges himself. Blood, cuts, it is a form of expression that he is satisfied with because he wants to see how far he can push himself. So doing those things brings him closer to himself/his true emotion.

Übersetzung Interview mit Kyo (Dir en grey), Legends Rock Show 2003




That’s right, I still can’t find the meaning of my existence
That’s why I slice the meaning on my body more and more and more and more and more
-Go ahead and laugh, and just walk away-

The voices of backstabbers still stick me
Someday maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, the voice will be heard straight to my heart
-Go ahead and just laugh, and break away-

Machiavellism by Dir en grey-



The intention is clear, I stare… with this left hand, unable to be worded
Every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live… And I discover words being so vivid and bright

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it will only be known as flowers of vanity

the final

One by one it multiplies… why be a sad bait?

Deep within the hell of my heart… I can’t go back
A self-tortured loser, not being able to see tomorrow
Suicide is the proof of life

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, the petals will just scatter as flowers of vanity

So I can’t live
What’s lost can’t be born again

A song that’s not even seeking the proof of living
Let’s put an end… the final

Let’s bloom flowers of attempted suicide...

The Final by Dir en grey




A child given birth to an adult unconscious of their sin dropped
I never had a name I don't even understand why I am here
and I haven't known my life of just these several months
I want to be loved I want to be born watching inside my mother's body
Its the second month since I gained consciousness, I felt something was too early.
I can't do anyhting yet, meanwhile the cord...

this incomplete me is scraped out, the pain pierces through my body
the voice of my screaming crying mother won't stop screeching in my ears.
The adults in white clothes pull me up, in their eyes full of cold blood,
I relfect bloodstained and without my right arm. They wrap me in black vinyl as is
While my consciousness gradually fades, I quietly think. If this me in the cage could be loved as I am
that would be enough I cant's let this go on
As I am unloved, I'd rather die
So I won't raise my newborn cry I'll quietly sleep
I wanted to see what it was like, just once, to feel a mother's love in my hand
I guess this is love...thank you
a door that can never be opened again has been shut tightly.
but you know what ? I am surely your future.

Man: Is this really okay with you ?
Woman: Yes.
Man: How many have you ?
Woman: Just one.
Man: I've killed countless children. Is this really permissable ? I'll ask again. Is this really okay with you ?
Are you prepared ?
Woman: Yes
Man: Then let us begin.

my body will be burned until the bones are gone it'll burn !

Dir en grey

Mazohyst of decadence

lyrics by Kyo

music by Kaoru




Part of me won’t go away
Everyday reminded how much I hate it
Weighted against the consequences
Can’t live without it so it’s senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole
Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low ‘cause it’s part of me
Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me
Heard of me the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now I’m sick of this
I can’t stand the sandpaper thoughts that grade on my sanity
I rather not even be then the man that’s staring in the mirror through me

[Pre chorus]
Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me [x4]

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

Freedom can be frightening if you've never felt it
Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone
And then you start to see another piece of yourself that you can’t let be
Memories of the last fight to free yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know you can choose to lose the part in your heart
Where your insides bruised
You can live if you’re willing to
Put a stop to just what’s killing you

[Pre chorus x4]


(Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently
This part of me won’t go away, part of me won’t go away
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone aught to be
Every time I see myself I see there’s always something wrong with me)

[Chorus x2]
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me [x2]

Linkin Park, Part of me
The reason why one can't laugh from the heart
it's a simply reason
that's life
(Dir en grey- Child Prey)
"One reads poetry because he is a member of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion! Medicin, law, banking - these are necessary to sustain life. But poetry, romance, love, beauty? These are what we stay alive for!
(Mr. Keating - Death Poets Society by N. H. Kleinbaum)
I have my books
and my poetry to protect me.
Simon & Garfunkel









I can't even figure out where I'm headed

Fading memory is slowly drawn

Towards the wind by a slender thread

I listen closely to the voice of my troubled heart

"What in the world

was I born to do..."

Yes, it's asking

The moon is always gazing at me

Even now, the answer has yet to come

Please let me hear

The voice...

Please show me

The dream...

Because even if I fall into unending sleep

There's nothing to be afraid of

Please teach me

The truth...

Please tell me

The crime...

As my hidden self is

Wet with red tears...

Only affection is becoming greater

I can't remember anything

Not even the name of the past

I can't do anything anymore

The moon is always, quietly,

Letting the rain keep falling...

Fragrance by Gackt

translation by Mina-P





It's hard to fall in love with someone else if you don't love who you are. - Loveless, Episode 2

„Der Mensch ist Angst.“

„Der Mensch ist Verlassenheit.“

„Der Mensch ist Verzweiflung.“

Jean-Paul Sartre








That night we were able feel each other, turned freezing cold
Deeply slumbering, to the depths of release

The feeling, is a strange sensation far removed from me
Days that seemed so beautiful, in the poison flower garden

From that day I felt such extreme aggravation onward,
I've been looking for someone else.

That night it all fell apart will never be again
Everytime I meet you, I've lied.
Because now I'm so far removed from there.

The fact that I can't love you anymore
Weighs heavilly on me, tortures and saddens me
The night was too long, it pains me

The accident which happened to you, causes me concern
Unable to say any words of comfort, I cooled to you
I was there.

If you don't care that it's not for real, I'll hold you
For you, I looked as much as you wanted

While getting fucked by someone else...

So that I can be even just a little closer to you,
Even if its not real, I stifled my heart for now

That first and final night has passed
You pretended not to know until the very end

(Erode by Dir en Grey)


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